Living in Nairobi is undoubtedly an extreme sport, and they say if you survive to live in Nairobi, you can survive anywhere.
Here, we unpack five things a true Nairobian must have experienced while living in the city:
1.Getting robbed in broad daylight
Nairobi is that city where both petty stealing and real robbery happen when the sun is shining.
A true Nairobi must have gotten their phones, purses, handbags, watches or laptops snatched either while walking or while in a matatu.
In some cases, you might not even realise something was picked from your bag or pocket until hours later when you're trying to find it.
The most worrying part is that you will be mugged in the open, scream for help, but it will be business as usual to those near you, nobody will come to your rescue.
The only words of consolation you might hear from them are, "Pole madam,hii ni Nairobi" (Sorry madam, this is Nairobi).
2.Being threatened with human faeces
Ever been in the CBD, neatly dressed and minding your own business, then suddenly out of the blues someone approaches you with human faeces in a plastic bag saying, "leta pesa ama nikupake mavi"( Give me money or I smear you with faeces).
If yes, you're definitely a true Nairobian.
And nowadays, they demand notes of Sh200 and above, if you give them coins, am sorry, you are up for human 'poop' smear.
3.Crazy traffic jam
The amount of hours you will spend on a traffic snarl-up in Nairobi is enough to take you to Eldoret and back.
Despite the government's efforts to improve the situation, it just doesn't get any better. It backfired right on our faces.
So in case, you have a very important meeting in the CBD, and you intend to get there by road, start your journey two or three hours earlier. True Nairobians can relate to this.
Have you ever tried crossing the road using the zebra crossing near a bus station? Trust me you will be run over despite the zebra crossing.
Not to mention the preachers, hawkers, overlapping, loud music, bedbug seats and crazy matatu drivers splashing water on pedestrians.
5.Paying a security guard to watch your vehicle
Have you ever seen those "park at your own risk" posters and boards? It's no joke; it means exactly that.
A true Nairobian will have to pay the security guy 'something small' to watch over their car while they are gone.
If not, just get ready, and all warmed up to buy new lights and mirrors.
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