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How to date without compromising your values

Reuben Simiyu
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Deep conversations help you understand each other more. [source/thesheet.ng]

A relationship is sometimes confused and taken for real marriage. The actual truth about the relationship is just that you are only getting to know each other and it has nothing to do with that total responsibility that you may have to effect when you settle down.

Your values are paramount and should not be lost no matter how deeply you love someone. Changing for their sake is just a waste of time and almost very nearly a disgrace.

To date effectively without compromising your values, you, first of all, have to make sure you engage your partner in conversations about your own selves and how you foresee your relationship. Always make sure that what you talk about is exclusively done with and not just short conversations that start and end anywhere. Having those deep conversations helps create the bond as well as ensuring that you fully get to understand each other.

As you engage in the conversations, you get to understand each other more and know what you both stand for. You also get to appreciate the fact that you also have lives outside of that relationship and have to attend to, and not being together all of the time and sometimes even doing nothing constructive. Respect is very important when you want to have someone appreciate your role in their life as well as allow you to be who you are.

You also need to give that 'good first impression' when you meet them. Do not seem too cheap or someone without any apparent direction in life. When you make a decision and know very well that it suits you or the both of you quite well, do not let go of it. Just be sound in the expression of your views on why this has to happen and also why that cannot happen. Make them respect what you stand for from the very first day. You, however, need to be careful not to seem so egocentric or someone who cannot even compromise everything. Those who will really want to be in your life will come and stay; while those who cannot stand you will leave you alone. In either case, be thankful.

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-Reuben Simiyu

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