Kenya’s narrative of “vumilia” in an abusive marriage is a leading causative factor for the increased domestic violence and murder cases reported, a psychologist has warned.

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Gladys Chania, a child and adult psychologist states that the narrative of sticking to an abusive marriage both emotionally and physically is the root cause of domestic murders.

Speaking exclusively to Hivisasa, the psychologist opined that “the increase in domestic murders is worrying. Unfortunately, in our African culture, we have a tendency of “vumilia watu watasema aje” (persevere what will people say)? Trying to cover marital abuses is culminating to marital or domestic deaths.”

Further, she says that every marital murder has a history of domestic abuse but the victims never get the courage to speak out or seek help from a professional counsellor.

Chania advises that if things hit rock bottom in the relationship, walking away is the best option. 

“If the relationship with your significant other becomes irretrievable do not stay, do not walk, run!" she cautions.

She spoke against the backdrop of the recent murder of Mary Wambui Kamangara over the weekend.

Wambui, 39, is reportedly said to have been murdered by Judy Wangui who is an alleged lover to her husband, Joseph Kori (41). 

Wangui, 36, was also the victim's personal friend, reports further indicate.

According to preliminary investigations by police, the victim was killed at Wangui’s Fourways estate residence before her bruised body was shuttled to Mugutha dam in Juja where it was found on Sunday.

Both Karue and his alleged lover are in custody. 

Detectives found blood-stained clothes belonging to the victim at Wangui’s residence in Fourways estate.

The two – Kori and Wambui who had two kids together – are said to have been experiencing marital problems for a while. 

Twenty days prior to Wambui’s brutal murder, Kori reportedly blocked Wangui’s phone calls, a move that detectives say may have given Wangui motive to murder her friend.

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