Ciroc, Green Army, Beast, Blacklist and Maybach. These are not labels for alcoholic drinks or US President Baracks Obama's armoured car or a movie title or Gor Mahia fans but matatus.
They ply on various routes in.....drum rolls....you guessed it Nakuru!!a slip of the fingers I meant Nairobi. The city in the sun! These matatus are as pimped as it gets.
They come equipped with 40+ inch screens on the front and sides and recently on the floor too! The stereos on these automotives are second only to those found at nightclubs.
Getting excited? You haven't had the half of it yet. If your phone is one of those that need to be charged every hour, worry not coz they have you covered. Sockets!
And as if that's not enough, they also have password-free Wi-Fi to keep those tweets and double tapping going on.
The graffiti on these PSVs both in the mat in and outside are craazy cool. They truly are a work of art. The Monalisa of matatus. Flash forward to our beloved Nakuru.
Where do I even start? The matatus here are for lack of a worse word; Pathetic! Before you start getting angry and offended let me take you for a ride in a matatu here.
I am going to town and I am at the Kiti stage waiting for a mat. A few minutes later, a KAJ something comes along. Something is familiar about it but I cant wrap my finger around it. My preferred seat is the front window seat and luckily it is not occupied.
This matatu is just metal on wheels. As basic as it gets. The engine is obviously waay past retirement and it takes a few attempts by the driver to start it.
Finally, our journey begins. I am in the mood to hear loud music as I travel, but there's just one tiny problem.
The stereo is...how can I put this....missing, absent, not there!! What was once a stereo compartment is now a hollow space, which the driver uses as a book shelf.
No problem, I just plug in my earphones and select a playlist. However, I have to hit the pause button because even with earphones plugged in the noise box which also serves as the engine, is too noisy.
Part of the reason I like this particular seat is because I can get to take in the cool breeze with my hand hanging on the door just like a boss.
Even this becomes impossible because the window can't open any lower than just a few centimetres. My troubles only sour when dust....yeees dust.....starts creeping in from the floor!
We finally arrive and as I try to alight, the door won't open! Apparently, only the conductor can open it, but even today, it doesn't bow to his charms and am forced to use the driver's door.
Out of curiosity, I look closer at the matatu exterior. No work of art here. Just whitish body colour with the mandatory yellow band. No fancy name here or cool grafitti.
Now I remember! This ma3 carried me ages ago.When I was still wearing grey shorts and purple shirts to school!!
All in all, there is hope for us with the emergence of cool matatus which are scattered on various routes with a majority being at the Langaa route.
The matatu hype has finally landed in Vegas!