After pre-wedding or wedding, a lady is now expected in Kalenjin community to move to her husband's place.
There exist two possibilities for the wife when starting a new life with the husband; they would either find caring, loving mothers-in-law or find unfair toxic new mothers.
When one finds a 'toxic' mother in law, in the Kalenjin community, this does not mean a lady should break her family and return back but she has to deal with it.
Toxic mothers-in-law are common in almost all the communities and the Kalenjin is not an exception.
Here is a list of ways Kalenjin daughters-in-law deal with toxic new mothers;
Identify the root cause of the problem
Kalenjin ladies are intelligent. They know in case of any problem, one should first identify the root cause of it. After knowing the cause, one can now comfortably deal with it. If any of the cause is the bond between her husband and mother-in-law, they sit, discuss and come up with a long-run solution.
Draw boundaries and verbalise
Mothers-in-law now expect their new daughters to attend their church service, do home chores for them, attend every event with them, to mention but a few. Clever Kalenjin lady draws boundaries. They inform their mothers-in-law what they cannot do and why. This helps them to avoid conflict.
Talk to mother-in-law's friends
"I met Ann, my mother-in-law's friends after a conflict with her, she came and talked with her. We are now friends and living happily," Lornah, a Kalenjin lady who had problems with her mother in law said.
Talking to toxic mothers-in-laws' friends help a lot. They tell them about the problem. Now the role is to mother-in-law friends to solve.
The wife should always be intelligent to avoid conflict with toxic mothers-in-law. Otherwise, they won't be able to create and develop their new family.
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