How you may have met him may not be important but months or years into dating him, you realise that your boyfriend is deeply hooked in watching pornography. 

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What do you do? Throw tantrums, cry, help him curb his addiction or call it quits? Well, here is some advice worth considering:

1.  Understand that it is about him, not you

This will predefine your reaction. The reason why he is watching porn is not because of something you did or failed to do. Do not overstretch trying to “meet his needs” as it won’t feed his pervasion. 

His addiction is like any other addiction to other drugs such as bhang or cocaine. Would you blame yourself the same way if he was addicted to smoking bhang and not porn?

2. Do not take rejection as personal

You may find he is no longer interested in you sexually. The problem is not that you are no longer attractive but rather, it is that his pervasion drives him to crave for his thing due to virtual interaction he gets from it. 

Don’t bend over too much trying to please him because you might not succeed. You can’t quench the thirst of a drunkard no matter how much water you offer.

3.  Use the experience to reflect on deeper problems in your relationship

If he doesn’t open up to you or allow your intervention into his realm of pervasion, it can point out to deeper underlying problems in your relationship. It may be lack of respect, consideration or love that is submerging him into a lonely world of addiction.

4. Seek professional help

You need help from a professional counselor not just for his porn addiction but also for possible relationship problems. 

He might be reluctant to seek help but if you really love him, entice him to seek help and save him from the perilous world of addiction. You can also consider getting help without him if that will see you better.

5. Weigh out your options

Finally, if you have tried your best and nothing seems to work, weigh between what you will gain by staying and what you might lose by leaving. The decision might come out as hard one but remember, whatever you do, don’t cry.