While emotional abuse is a very common trait in relationships, it sometimes passes unnoticed. Your spouse may emotionally manipulate you to gain control of you without you even realizing it. This is because it is something that is done gradually with no physical fight or injuries. A person who uses emotions to manipulate his or her spouse in order to gain control is called a gaslighter.
Gaslighting makes the victim to doubt his or her reality and memory. According to the site www.psychologytoday.com, a gaslighter may actually make you question your self-worth. He is a master of "reverse psychology" technique.
Gaslighting is a new term that is becoming popular as more and more people are becoming aware of this kind of emotional abuse. Here are a few signs to look for when you want to know that your spouse is emotionally manipulating you to get what he or she wants.
1. He is dismissive
When you confront him with a particular issue he does not like, he tends to become dismissive. You might find some strings of messages which show he might be flirting with another woman. When you confront him to clarify, he dismisses you and says you are over-sensitive. Or that you are far-fetching things.
2. He tells blatant lies
Another sign that he is using emotions to control you is that he tells blatant lies. He denies having said things that he actually did say. He denies facts to an extent that you start doubting or even believing that he might be saying the truth.
3. He is coercive
He tends to force you to accept his point of views even if you totally disagree. When he sees that you cannot hold on to your principles for too long, he pesters you till you give in and support his ideas. He will use your weakness as a reason to abandon your way of thinking and instead agree with his ways.
4. He plays victim
This is one of the surest sign that your spouse is emotionally abusing you. He plays the victim. This is especially when he is caught on the wrong. He will put up a show and act as if you are the person who is on the wrong. Sometimes, instead of him apologizing, you are the one who will end up apologizing for the sins that he committed.