Humans have an innate predisposition to seek intimacy at a certain age. At this age, the attraction to the opposite sex increases and there is a natural desire to seek intimate friendships with the opposite sex. However, this is usually not the case with people experiencing romantic incompetence.

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Romantic incompetence is normally manifested through the inability to develop and sustain intimate relationships. Romantically incompetent people hardly develop a sexual attraction towards the opposite sex and when such romantic feelings develop they cannot be sustained over a period of time. This usually affects people with troubled childhood such as victims of child abuse. Signs of a romantically  incompetent partner include:


Romantically incompetent partners have a  feeling that they can do without the other partner. This makes them feel highly aggrieved when they feel that the actions of the other partner are not right. The partner can, therefore, become very aggressive and seek to hurt intentionally as a payback.


The partner is highly individualistic. He or she will have a little regard for you and will depend on their abilities to take care of themselves without you. In simple terms “I” always precedes “We”.

Lack of appreciation

The partner has a vague understanding of the expression of care and love. He or she will take all your acts of care and tenderness for granted and may become aggressive when you do not perform as they expect.

Emotional outbursts

The partner has difficulty containing their emotions and expresses the emotions without regard to the feeling of the other partner. He or she will magnify a little argument and typically create a mountain out of molehehehehehe hills in petty relationship issues.

Most relationships die out as a result of emotional incompetence by either one or both the partners. This makes relationship issues bulge out of proportions to the extent where the relationship can no longer be salvaged. However, the issue of romantic incompetence can be managed by seeing a professional sexologist or a relationships counsellor.