Marriage, even the best of marriages, can take effort and work. Many people still enter into marriage wearing rose-colored glasses. Rather than falling victim to these myths, take off the glasses and be honest with yourself and your spouse. You don’t have to settle for less. A great marriage is a long-term process — not an overnight miracle. By uncovering and debunking these marriage myths you’ll see things more clearly in life and marriage.
1. A good marriage begins by finding Mr. or Ms. Right. It’s easy to blame problems in marriage on our spouse, which can lead to the belief that they are not Mr. or Ms. Right. Surely, there are couples that really don’t belong together. However, the majority of these not-the-right-person beliefs are rooted in unrealistic expectations.
2. When couples argue, it destroys the relationship. You may have entered marriage believing that arguing is bad. You may have expected things to go smoothly, with only a few minor bumps along the way. But then the usual struggles over money, sex, children, and/or sharing responsibilities emerge.
3. Two people in a good marriage automatically grow closer with time. A good marriage is the product of constant care and nurturing. Think about it this way, what do we know about achieving anything good in life? It takes work. For example, how do people stay physically fit? Certainly not by fantasizing and longing for a rock hard body – a healthy body takes constant attention and work.
4. Marriage partners can fill the gaps in one another’s makeup. One great joy of marriage is the ability to pool your strengths and talents. If one of you is physical and the other intellectual, you can help expand one another’s horizons. However, if you are painfully shy and rely on your spouse to do all the talking, you’re going to feel an imbalance.