Not everyone is a “talker.” If you are someone who craves the emotional intimacy of verbally bonding, pillow talk should be an integral part of your closeness with your partner. If you have someone in your life who is not that much into discussions post-sex, these are excellent ways to engage them in a conversation instead of just turning over and sleeping.

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1. What you liked and what felt good. If you want pillow talk to be intimate and productive, start by discussing a play by play of what you liked or what you wanted more of in your sexual encounter.

2. What is your favorite memory growing up? It might seem completely unrelated to what you just did, but right after the euphoric nature of an orgasm, talking about the intimate memories you hold, helps to bond you together emotionally.

3. What’s your biggest dream? Asking your partner about what they want for their future is a little too serious for pillow talk. Pillow talk is supposed to be all about the spectacular and dreamy things.

4. Ask silly questions. Right after you both got your rocks off, keep it light and laugh a little. Ask them silly or philosophical questions that gets them thinking intellectually, but, remember, light.

5. Discuss your relationship. If you had some seriously amazing sex and already consider the “where is this relationship going?” talk then asking them when you feel closest might be a good idea.