There are some questions that women ask men that make them feel as if they have just hit a brick wall. They suddenly feel like some wild animal caught in the headlights of a large oncoming truck. Here are some of them:
1. Why do you think your last relationship didn’t work out? This is a trick question. If he says it was all his fault, it gives his new partner ammunition and if he says it was his old partner’s fault, it looks as if he thinks he is perfect and is just being nasty. Previous relationships are a private territory and unless the information is volunteered, it is best not to trespass there.
2. When do you think we can get new curtains? She means ‘sometime in the future’ and he thinks, “Oh heavens, she wants them tomorrow and we can’t afford them.” Frankly, he has never even noticed the curtains and probably wouldn’t be able to say what colour they were if you asked him. Questions like these turn up the financial pressure many men feel in relationships.
3. Do you even know what day it is today? No you don’t, which is why she is asking. The terror evoked by this question is huge. Forgetting birthdays or anniversaries can give your partner ammunition for weeks to come. Fill these days in on your desk calendar or programme them into your cell phone in advance. It is worth the trouble. When you forget a woman’s birthday, she hears the message loud and clear that you no longer love her or care for her – whether it is true or not.
4. Do you think my best friend is attractive? Another trick question. She wouldn’t have asked unless she thought her friend was attractive. If you say that you do, you could be in serious trouble. If you say no, she will think you may be lying, or that you are just being nasty.
5. Do you enjoy being with your friends more than being with me? This is a deadly one. No one enjoys spending all their time with one person – everyone gets different things from different friends. We do need variety. In a certain sense the answer would be yes and in another no. You and your partner both need to accept that friends are an important part of your support structure and there is nothing wrong with enjoying their company.