It doesn’t matter if you are the one doing the breaking or if you are the one being broken, there is always a certain level of pain and self-doubt that is left behind. This pain and self-doubt can bring you down, it can almost force you into bad choices and it can shatter your self-esteem. You begin to question your worth in this world and with no one there to pick you up, it can be easy to fall down and not get back up again. Here are some life lessons that you can learn from your break up, if you can take a break from the grieving and try to look at the bigger picture.

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1. Everything changes and nothing stands still. Just because you didn’t want things to change, doesn’t mean they can stay the same. Change happens all the time, sometimes for the good and sometimes for the bad, the only choice you have in the matter is whether or not you can accept it.

2. You choose your path. All the changes that come from a break up can leave you feeling lost and alone, you will start to feel like you are fighting against the tides and that you are losing.

3. The goodwill becomes bad. Those once treasured memories of lying on a beach or laughing in the back garden will begin to hurt you. Whenever a break up occurs, it becomes easy to pick out all the good times you once shared.

4. Contentment is not happiness. Just because your relationship left you content does not mean that it made you happy. You can be content with something without it making you truly happy.

5. What ifs’ are dangerous. What ifs will only drive you mad, they are questions that can never be answered and they will always be unresolved. 

6. You need to be honest with yourself. It’s okay to miss your ex-partner, it’s okay to think about their best qualities and the reasons why you fell in love. However, you need to think about the bad stuff too.