We are a far cry away from being a society, which deals with menstruation the right way, but it is about time we start the process, and an important step towards that is teaching our men to know how to behave when their partner is suffering while going through periods.
Here is a golden rule for men.
1. Understand and acknowledge it’s a difficult time:
Don’t be smug. It is as excruciatingly painful as she says it is. You cannot possibly imagine having to go through that pain every month, so don’t try to act like you do. Simply understanding her pain and saying that you do and that you are there for her is a good first step.
2. Be nice to her, but don’t be patronizing:
Be patient, make her feel better. If she is hyperventilating, just take it and move on. Don’t complain about her fretting. Listen to her, be attentive and be nice. But don’t patronise her.
3. Help her out:
Get up and move your ass. You should do her share of the chores too. Finish work early, don’t attend any social events during that time. Wash her clothes, clean up the kitchen, go get the groceries, make dinner and if she wants you to get water from the refrigerator while she chills on the sofa watching a rom-com, just do it. It won’t kill you.
4. Give her physical comfort:
Give her a comforting hug, and if you have large hands, put them to some good use by giving her a nice massage. A back-rub or a foot massage can really help. Let her sit on your lap, cuddle if she feels like it. Even holding her hand could make her feel better. But remember, if she says stay away, just stay away. If it’s the summer, make sure the AC is on, and she has blankets too.
5. Discourage menstrual taboos:
Try to stay away from those family members who get too touchy about our ‘culture’. Menstrual taboos are disgusting. She can go into the kitchen and cook if she wants, she can pray if she feels like. Don’t shut her out in some other room, and don’t serve her food like she is sub-human. If you have family who insists on all this, then move out and live separately.
6. Be available sexually:
This is important. Some women feel horny during their periods or just after that. There is a belief that this can be a messy affair - some find it messy, others don’t. Now, no one can force anyone to have sex, but if she is feeling horny, getting into the sack with her, and doing whatever she wants, however she wants it, can be a good gesture. If you find it messy, you can clean up later. And don’t forget to change the sheets when she is done, it’s your job.