People tend to link happiness, general success and well being to the pursuit and finding of true love or your soul mate. However, this is a fallacious thought chain. You can never claim to love another person yet you yourself don't appreciate yourself.
As the sage adage states "Charity begins at home". Self-love is the beginning of true and genuine love. If you cannot find peace and love internally then seeking validation from others, in the disguise of a relationship, will always prove futile.
There is an African saying that states "Be careful when a naked man offers you his shirt!", this holds true cause if the gesture were genuine then he would put the clothes on his person first.
Hence self-love always precedes mushy, lovey-dovey kind of love. It is Ok not to want to engage in a relationship with anyone, provided you're working on yourself and staying healthy.
Here are some legitimate reasons why you may not be ready for a relationship right now:
1. Bad dating experiences
It's always advisable to nurse your emotional wounds before you rush into another relationship. Take some personal time to recuperate from the emotional roller-coaster that accompanies breakups. Bad experiences in romantic relationships soil your interest in having a repeat session i.e infidelity and domestic violence.
2. Fresh off another relationship
Taking time on your own after a breakup or loss of a loved one is very ok. The urge to jump back on the horse diminishes and the desire to be with another human can seem repulsing and revolting. It is understandable and advisable to get over these feelings of depression and loss properly before you move forward to the next dating phase.
3. Dating is hectic and time-consuming
A busy schedule at work or just in life i.e single-parent responsibilities can definitely be overwhelming. This can hinder your ability to sustain a thriving and functional dating life. Pressure may state otherwise but only you get to decide how you wanna live your life. Don't be in a hurry and make the wrong choice because you were too busy to notice your partner's flaws.
4. Relationship partners come with a backlog of baggage
Dating actually means sharing your life with another totally different individual. As much as this may come with its perks such as increased opportunities and connections, it also carries with it your partner's dark past and horrible mistakes, maybe their handful relatives or his accruing bills. So nobody should blame for relishing being on your own.
5. Bad luck in dating
No matter how many dates you’ve been on, people just don’t interest you. You have failed numerously in finding a suitable mate for yourself, then do not rush into a relationship just to please the masses. This just means you can be happier alone knowing that if you do meet someone someday who catches your interest, this person is going to fulfill you in every possible way.
6. Asexuality
This is the state of not finding persons from any of the genders attractive. This doesn’t mean that asexual people can’t have sex or be in relationships, but some simply have no interest in dating and relationships. If you feel this way through no fault of your own, then don't give in to societal pressure. Just be yourself!
7. The only company you desire is your own
There are people who actually prefer being in their own company. The relationship you make with yourself is one of the most important ones you’ll ever have. Liking yourself is the first step you’ll make toward being a better friend, relative, and even a lover should you finally decide to settle down.