Do you have certain hopes and dreams that are on hold because you are waiting for your partner to get on board, or make the next bold step? Yet these hopes seem to be very far from being actualized, at least not in the near future. Or have you found yourself in a relationship limbo and don’t know what’s going on?
Then you should be on the lookout since you might find out that your partner is actually benching you as he weighs and samples the rest of the merchandise available on his 'menu'. Benching is a way of someone keeping you in a state of limbo until they decide whether or not they’re truly interested in committing to you.
Simply put, you are on the sidelines just in case you're actually needed. This is a way for them to make sure you don’t become disinterested while keeping their options open.
Here are some signs you are being strung along in your relationship:
1. He's too busy for you
Every time you suggest a meet-up or a date they respond with uncertainty, or decline and suggest doing it some other unspecified time. Then suffer no illusions they are stringing you along.
2. His friends know nothing about you
None of their friends seem to even know that you exist and, when you really think about it, they’ve never actually offered to introduce you to them either. If their friends don’t seem to think that you’re in a relationship or anything that serious, chances are you’re being benched.
3. They disappear and reappear at their own convenience
You never actually see them anymore, and after a prolonged period of not communicating, they tend to reappear out of the blues and pretend like everything is just fine. They even have the audacity to go straight back to where they left off, assuming that you’ve just been sitting around waiting for their return. They won't even acknowledge that they vanished at all.
4. They invalidate your feelings and make you feel crazy
When your partner doesn't seem to care or understand your feelings then this is a clear sign that he is not really interested in an emotional relationship. Every time you bring up an emotional issue he brushes it aside as if it isn't worth anything. Furthermore, they make you feel like you’re being needy and unreasonable just for expressing your feelings and demanding respect.
5. They don't honor their promises
There is desire without a plan, you are still in the stage of wishful thinking. There are no real plans for the future or a vision for it being created. You have also grown accustomed to them letting you down to an extent where you don’t expect much from them anymore. You constantly feel like you’re getting your hopes up, only to have them let down time and time again. This is a sure sign that they are soon moving on.
6. They are slowly widening the emotional gap
If your partner's reaction toward your presence and company is gravitating toward lukewarm at an alarming pace, then this should signal of his growing disinterest in the relationship. As time goes on, you’ve noticed them becoming less flirty and intimate, this could be a sign that they are setting the stage for a gentle and less chaotic split.
7. He's comfortable with the status quo
The person you are with is happy where things are and wants to maintain the status quo. They definitely don't see the need to 'rush' into a more traditional relationship set up. They prefer the casual nature of your current relationship where there are no labels and even less responsibility and commitment.
8. The relationship is a 'one-man army'
Since they still aren't ready to lose you yet, they will try to falsify an aura of progression in the relationship. They let you take the lead and do the work to figure out “how things will work”, sending you deeper into your own fantasy.
Do not compromise so much that you lose sight of your dreams. This types of relationships can make you lose connection with yourself and diminish your light. Choose to move on before they do!