It's only natural that eventually, couples will engage in fights, no matter how perfect they might seem from the onset. However, understanding how to efficiently and effectively handle fights might prove to be the key pillar to a balanced and healthy relationship.
Winning arguments doesn't necessarily mean that you're right, neither is being the loudest. Naturally, arguments tend to have a winner and then a loser- this, unfortunately, should never be true for relationship arguments.
The most important thing to remember is that both of you are on the same side. A loss is a loss for all parties involved and a win is a success for both parties. It all boils down to the quantity and quality of love and respect between partners within the relationship.
Therefore, partners engaged in an argument shouldn't strive to win the argument or be right. They should understand that fights only surface when partners feel hurt or misunderstood. Here are some few tips for couples to guide them in understanding how to fight fair:
1. Avoid ambiguity
It's pretty easy to veer off from the real conflict when you are engaged in a fight that you're losing. You might obscure the facts by bringing up with other non-related issues that weren't even the base of the argument.
2. Let the past stay in the past
The word fair means just, therefore the use of underhand tactics such as bringing up your partner's past mistakes just to knock them off balance is completely unreasonable.
3. Attack the idea never the person
In the heat of the moment, it's quite easy to say hurtful and nasty things about your partner's behaviors, insecurities or physical attributes. This is a traumatizing phenomenon that may affect your relationship for the foreseeable future.
4. Be genuine and honest
Portray your feelings and convictions as they truly are. Communicate clearly and as much possible avoid being sarcastic and plastic.
5. Try and calm down
It's pretty hard to understand each other when you're both emotional and frantic. Listening to your partner and respecting their opinions is a key ingredient in having healthy arguments.
6. Avoid shouting at your partner
Screaming words to a closed off individual only heighten the tensions. It's advisable to strike a reconciliatory tone that eventually invites dialogue and opens up your partner to honest discussions.
7. Be humble
Humility is a virtue, more so in a relationship contest. Don't be too eager to boss around your lightweight partner and bully them to submission. Learn to apologize when wrong and to accept apologies when wronged.
8. Resolve the conflict
Always end a fight amicably. Don't just shut down to avoid escalating the situation. You may have a lot of differences or arguments in your relationship, but every single one of them can actually bring both of you closer and help either of you understand each other. It's also advisable to make up after a fight since this shows that both of you respect each other and love each other a lot to let a few small misunderstandings come in the way of the happy romance.