In relationships, the idea of compatibility does not always hold water. 

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In most instances, both partners need to give up something for each other. 

If not, the relationship will always have squabbles, and one may end up thinking that he or she is the martyr. 

Below are some rules that ensure that both of you compromise in a healthy way:

1. Both of you need to give up something, not just one partner 

There may be that one thing you want your partner to give up. 

Before you ask them, have something to give up too, or ask your partner to tell you. 

2.Engage in positive compromise 

Compromises should not always be about subtracting. 

Brainstorm on things that cause the differences, and reach conclusions that build you as a couple.

3. Avoid talking about compromise when you are angry 

When tempers flare up, rational discussions on issues become blurred.

 As such, hold conversations on what to compromise when both of you are calm. 

4. Draw a list of your priorities 

Make a list of things you cannot give up. 

Also, make a list of things you are flexible with. 

Most importantly, listen to your partner's priorities as well. 

5. Accept help

Compromising may seem to limit you as an individual, and you may feel that you are sacrificing a lot. 

It takes time to learn. If not, seek help from counsellors. 

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