Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify and manage your own emotions and the emotions of others. It is generally said to include three skills: emotional awareness; the ability to harness emotions and apply them to tasks like thinking and problem solving; and the ability to manage emotions, which includes regulating your own emotions and cheering up or calming down other people.
People with high emotional intelligence tend to make better relationship partners. Not everyone is emotionally mature enough to be in a relationship. Real, genuine, healthy relationships are built on mutual trust and respect, as well as the ability and desire to communicate about your issues. These are all aspects of a relationship that an emotionally impoverished person will definitely struggle with.
Here are some clear-cut signs that your partner has low emotional intelligence:
1. Inability or lack of incentive to control their emotions
Emotionally intelligent people are able to regulate and control their emotions, this is a core aspect of ascertaining your partners' emotional intelligence. If he/she seems erratic and unhinged when it comes to matters emotions i.e they are prone to lashing out in anger then there is a real deficiency.
2. Inability to read non-verbal cues
If your partner always seems to appear clueless about your feelings, and you are sure that they are definitely not doing it on purpose so as to avoid confrontation then this is a sure sign of low emotional intelligence. The ability to read others’ nonverbal emotional cues, such as facial expressions helps in making emotional connections.
3. Refusing to listen to other points of view
Partners with low emotional intelligence feel that they are right and will defend their position with great vigor, yet refuse to listen to what others have to say. They are often pessimistic and overly critical of other people’s feelings.
4. Always blaming others for their mistakes
People with low emotional intelligence have little insight into how their own emotions might lead to problems. When things go wrong, their first instinct is to blame others. This tendency to not take responsibility often leaves them feeling bitter and victimized.
5. A flailing social life
If your partner's ability to make and maintain a thriving social life is immensely handicapped then this could be a sign of low emotional intelligence. People who tend to have strong networks of friends and acquaintances are associated with high levels of emotional intelligence.
6. Inability to express his own emotions
It is only natural that a person who cannot associate with emotions easily will definitely have difficulty in expressing them. If you cannot understand something then you cannot express it, at least not accurately. So if you have a resounding difficulty in reading your partners thoughts and emotions (which you normally read with ease from other people) then this shows that he/she might be lacking emotional intelligence.
7. Lacks emotional "correctness"
By this I mean the constant act of being emotionally inappropriate. When your partner always seems to miss sure signs of the underlying mood or tone of a conversation, and this is not due to his tendency of applying witty sarcasm, then this is a clear indicator that they have a low emotional intelligence.
8. Inability to appreciate and sympathize with other people's pain
If your partner doesn't cope well with sadness from other people or pain, then they lack emotional intelligence. An inability to manage others’ emotions indicates a deficiency. Empathy and sympathy involve recognizing others' emotional states and reflecting back appropriate emotional concern. This is a complex skill that suggests high levels of emotional intelligence.
9. Cannot hide excitement and resentment
Too-loud emotional reactions, whether positive or negative, suggest difficulty in controlling emotions. When your partner flares up in anger, shouting and lashing while throwing fits then this goes to elucidate his emotional deficiencies. If he cannot contain his excitement and always ends up being too loud in excitement then this too shows this deficiency.