Rebuilding trust after it has been broken is the hardest thing you may have to go through. When trust has been broken it’s difficult to handle, and you feel like your life is falling apart. The hardest part is trying to figure out where you went wrong or if you did something. When trust is broken you have so many emotions, and you find yourself crying one minute, and the next feeling sad, frustrated, and disappointed. There are several ways to rebuild trust when trust has been broken in your relationship, and although it’s a hard process, it’s necessary for the success of your relationship. The following must occur, to rebuild trust as outlined by marriage.com.
1. Forgiveness. You must forgive your mate for what he/she has done. Forgiveness prepares and opens your heart to receive, to listen, and to hear what your mate has to say. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you will forget, it means that you’re open willing to accept your mate back into your life with the possibility of starting over.
2. Boundaries. You must set boundaries around the areas where trust has been broken. Boundaries create structure and consistency and help bring stability back to the relationship. Without boundaries, everyone does what he/she wants to do, which is how trust was broken in the beginning, so setting boundaries create an atmosphere for you to be able to trust your mate again.
3. Accountability. Your partner must be willing to be held accountable for their actions, for what they do, for where they go, and for what they say. Being accountable will help you become secure in the relationship. Although your partner may feel uncomfortable letting you know these minute details, it’s important that they do, so that the feelings of insecurity in the relationship can decrease.
4. Patience. Your partner must develop the ability to be patient. Rebuilding trust doesn’t happen overnight, it doesn’t happen in a week, two weeks, three weeks or even a month. The time frame in which rebuilding trust occurs varies, and it depends on many factors, and one is the level of hurt that you experienced in the relationship. As a therapist, I’ve seen people who want to rush the process and want everything to be over immediately and expect their partners to get over the hurt and automatically trust; but that doesn’t happen, it takes time, and time equals patience.