A South C estate in Nairobi. The starter independent women move to a better neighbourhood, may be South B or C or Mountain View. They buy a very expensive car and take charge of their own lives. [Photo/ The Star]
Three women sat around a table in a swankier joint named after this writer’s first name in upmarket Nairobi. It is newly opened and has been the talk about town in the clubbing and hanging out circles. They were dressed elegantly, spoke impeccable English and were drinking from those funnel-shaped glasses and held them with a newly acquired exotic mannerism that was unmistakable. Their choice of drink was a colourless, fizzling drink with lemon slices floating over.They were something between 25 and 28.They dismissed all the men who stood by even to say hi. They dismissed the tall and the short, the seemingly loaded and the broke ones. They didn’t smile much and seemed lost in their own world like old friends catching up after along time, especially when one just flew in from overseas. After some time, it seemed like there was an unwritten ‘NO MEN FOR THIS TABLE’ notice as all the men chose to look elsewhere for female company.Who were these women? Certainly, they were not the daughters of the rich. They were a bit conservative and from their look, they looked that their status was newly acquired. They didn’t seem to be in university or college going by their expensive wear and the fact that they were buying their own drinks, and car keys comfortably relaxed on the table. And since they were not interested in male company, I arrived at the conclusion that they could be starter independent women.Who is this woman? Well, she cleared university or college less than three years ago. She finished young, no more than 24. She must have pursued a very marketable course, think Bachelor of Commerce, Hotel Management, Computer Science and other fields that automatically guarantee one a job with corporate blue chip. Within two years of working, their salary is six figure.They move to a better neighbourhood, may be South B or C or Mountain View. They buy a very expensive car and take charge of their own lives. They are swelling in numbers in Nairobi and other towns as they take charge of the banking, mobile telephony, insurance and accounting sectors of the economy bringing in the much needed fresh blood into the corporate sector.What is it with them? Nothing much, only that their expectations from life are a tad exaggerated. Just because they are within touching distance of achieving their dreams, doesn’t mean that they should live on the ideal lane. They are a frustrating lot, especially when you listen to them.For starters, they live their lives in a mechanical manner. Everything to the book. While Tyra & co make a lot of sense, they invariably take them too seriously. The motivation books might have well been written for them, specifically. End product, you have a young woman who thinks she can dictate things around. They have fiery attitude and scarcely even respect their parents and elderly folks.These women have an unrealistic approach to life. They want a dream wedding and honeymoon out of the country. They want twins and if this could be genetically manipulated they can pay a dime. They can actualize it, make no mistake. They have the money to do it. They can get the man of their dreams but it is how fussy they are about things.They read glossy magazines and believe all the gurus employed and the million suggestions therein can transform them into better persons without even working hard. They think collectively. If Jasmine said she can only marry after her Masters or that dream promotion, they will all settle for that arrangement even one of them is already having weight problems that might scare away potential suitors.But what irritates more is how they deal with men about their age or those who tend to go for them. In college they could have dated and slept with losers, especially in their quest for that fantasy man. At 26, they can only take in a man who meets certain financial, physical social status. It is an extended illusion of their post-teenage era, where if he was not tall, dark and handsome, he was not IT…Only that this time round, they have the patience until Mr Right shows up.Unwittingly, they skip good men and at 31, they stumble upon reality at its ugliest. The possibility of eternal spinsterhood dawns on them and they start scampering for a sperm donor.It is important to remind these women as they form nasty opinions on various facets of life, they should manage their expectations. Life is incomplete at its best. Given a chance, anyone would trade places to be that ideal someone. In their youthful idealism, these women might be having scales in their eyes too big to see but I take this early opportunity to remind them 24-28 are the most important years for a woman to make a lifetime decision about the kind of life they would like to lead in their 40s.Live individually. Consult where you can. Obey you parents and those nasty aunts even when their demands seem unreasonable like advising you against marrying that man from a different tribe. Maybe they have a point. Relationship can never be the same, work on yours as consciously and as maturely as possible. Understand the needs of men and you are good to go.When all is said and little is done, remember life is not a science, but an art. Learn the art. Master the art.
Editor's note: this article first appeared in Silas Nyanchwani's blog. Follow him on Facebook.