It was until today in the morning when I realized that I have one big talent.
A talent of day-dreaming dreams.
It all began with a conversation with my Peoples, the first morning of the first day of this year.
I was sharing with her one of those dreams with her.
The dream of establishing a Baby Day Care Centre in our local shopping center.
"I don't know sweetheart but I am feeling God has been visiting me in my dreams. I have, for many nights, been seeing myself in those dreams running a Baby Day Care Centre. A facility helping those mothers working at the farms and teachers to take care of their babies during the day for a small pay," I told her.
While grinning from ear to ear like a scientist who had come up with the greatest invention ever and was about to present it to the approving panel, I continued, "I am starting the project the soonest. I am going to rent a room, buy mattresses, blankets, buy a Dvd player and Cartoon DVDs."
I laid out my plan for a whole 20 minutes as my Peoples listened with patience similar to that of a mother listening to her 3yr old son tell his experience of his first day in school.
"Ok, that sounds great. And you'll be feeding the kids, changing their diapers and wiping the poops..... You'll also be doing the washing?" However much she tried, she could not hide the sarcasm in her comment. Nonetheless, I told her that I would be employing a lady to do the diaper-changing and washing. Feeding and playing with the kids itakuwa kazi yangu.
"Wish you all the best then. But I want you to experiment with our own kids just for a day. If by evening, you will not have gone crazy, you'll get my blessings," she told me as she rose to go on with her business.
Undeterred by her attitude, I resolved that I would go ahead with implementation of my idea. But first I decided to do "internship" with Toto, my 6-month-old kid.
So today, 9 a.m sharp, I was set to give my project the first test. My Peoples had gone to sokoni kununua some stuffs and get a stock of our Kiosk. Toto was in my arms as I multi-tasked, serving customers at the kiosk and facebooking.
At around 10am, one hour later, hell broke loose. Toto started whimpering that was followed by ear-splitting series of sirens a few minutes later.
"Now what have I done wrong?" I thought to myself. I flew into a panic. Is she upset with me? Has she pooped on her diapers? Is it getting too hot for her under her layers of clothes? Is it too cold? What's wrong! Was she just fine? Or maybe she is hungry?
I ransacked the food rack for her bottle. I found it after 20 years long. Relieved, I sat Toto on my lap and proceeded to let her devour the bottle's nipple with a ferocity of a hungry calf.
After few minutes she slipped into what I thought was a deep opiate slumber, with her mouth agape. I lowered her into bed to sleep but as she touched the bed, she opened her eyes and the alarm went off again. This time around, no amount of milk would quieten her.
Already, I was making a scene. Adults and kids were thronging my kiosk to stare at me, as I grinned idiotically like a chimpanzee mumbling, "Shooo, shoo, shooo Toto."
A lady neighbour came to my aid. She took her off my arms to calm her outside.
Minutes later, she brought and handed her to me. She was fast asleep then. I handled her the same way I could handle an explosive. I took and lowered her gingerly into the bed.
Any slightest wrong movement and....BOOOOM again. Would I frantically be looking for a way to defuse her again- Green wire or Red wire? Which one do I cut? By the time, I covered her successfully with the coverings, I was sweating profusely. I then silently flew out of the bedroom.
By the time my Peoples arrived my mind was made up. I concluded that infants are to be treated like radioactive material- tolerable for short periods of time. Prolonged exposure, if you are man, would have unpleasant effects. Apparently one of the reasons my Peoples can handle this awful din is that it seems nature provided her with some lovely anesthetizing hormones that make such cacophony bearable.
As at this time, if you tell me about the establishment of a Baby Day Care Center project, tutakosana!