A couple. [Photo/the-star.co.ke]
The debate goes on whether there are acceptable lies in a relationship. All breakups (arguably) have an element of lying. It could be failing to change when you said you would, spending more money than you should or cheating on your spouse. Are there 'necessary lies' in an relationship? The kind that are meant to 'protect' the one you love? First of all, what is lying anyway? This is to give false information intentionally. Giving a half truth with the intention to mislead can also be classified as lying. Let's just eliminate the obvious levels of deception. Even the worst people can agree that cheating on the one you love, misrepresenting who you are, living a double life, are lies a step too far. When you're using your children's school fees to gamble and hiding it from your spouse, it's a damaging lie. So, that's it, we judge a lie by the damage it causes? Partly, yes, but only partly. 'Necessary lies' are things we don't say to each other because we're afraid of hurting one's feelings. You don't tell your wife that she's too fat for a dress, you use smart and wise words like 'Try this other one, it even fits the occasion better.' I don't find it a crime to lessen the blow as long as you get your point across. A lie is a lie, whether big or small. However, there's nothing wrong with using smart and wise words to give sensitive truths. Whether big or small, a lie is a lie.