A parent and her child.Photo/scoldingthekid
As much as we strive to be the most awesome parents we can be for our children, mistakes can happen even with the best of intentions. The good news is that raising a child is a continuous learning experience, and you can keep getting better.
Half listening
Avoid communicating while your eyes are fixed to your texts or with grunts while you watch TV. If you are unable to give your undivided attention, let your child know by telling them, “I want to hear everything you have to say, so let me finish this up and I’ll be able to give you all of my attention!”
Teaching your child unhealthy competition
Installing a “win at all costs” attitude teaches kids to focus only on the prize instead of appreciating hard work and growth. Praise your child’s effort (e.g. practicing daily, studying diligently) and encourage him or her to acknowledge his competitors’ hard work as well. This will teach your child to both win and lose graciously.
Rescuing your child
As parents, it’s absolutely natural to do anything to avoid having our children experience anything less than pleasant. They’re our precious little humans after all. What’s difficult to remember at the moment is that if we’re constantly saving our kids, they will think something is horribly wrong when experiencing even normal frustrations as adults.
Not letting your child get bored
Kids should be given a chance to find ways out of boredom themselves. Alone time empowers kids to be creative at the moment so have books, crayons, doodle pads, puzzles, or building blocks where they can easily find them. This will encourage free thinking and self-sufficiency.
Not Saying “No”
Teaching rules and boundaries are necessary for a child’s growth. They may pout and cry, but constantly saying “Yes” will encourage them to grow into spoiled, entitled adults. Standing by your “Nos” is a great lesson in respect, as well as respecting other people’s boundaries.
Being inconsistent
Being strict at times, but showing you don’t really care about those same things in other moments, is very confusing for our children. Stick to the rules and practices that you have set. Consistency and familiarity will give your kids a sense of security and help build confidence.
Downplaying your child’s feelings
Discounting your child’s feelings when she’s upset by saying “don’t be mad” or “you shouldn’t feel that way” teaches her not to trust her feelings. Instead, encourage her to accept that negative emotions are just as normal as her positive ones and teach her to work through them. This will help her respond to her feelings in a confident and healthier manner.
Making empty promises
Avoid making promises you do not intend to keep just to get your child to do something or hint that you will take your love and support away in order to get your child to achieve compliance. Taking control of your child this way may bring short-term payoffs but over the long-term, these actions will result in distrust, resentment, and low self-esteem. Keeping your word, giving encouragement, and practicing loving patience will help build and strengthen a loving, positive, and healthy bond with your child, which will last a lifetime!