By Silas Nyanchwani
Broke men are twice likely to label women gold-diggers and other unsavoury terms than loaded men. Loaded men on the other hand, unless stingy, have no qualms apportioning a part of their salaries to treating the woma(e)n in their lives, correspondingly with their earnings.
There are those who can afford dinner and a few drinks. Others foot the rent and other monthly bills. Others are too loaded to occasionally do something incredible like a holiday in Seychelles, buying her a dream car and affording her the extravagant life that she craves. But very few women are that lucky. Some men go out of their way, sometimes even running into bigger debts to impress their women. But broke men are always philosophical about relationships and romance. Think about me, for a moment. Always whining, like life owes me an explanation.
So Valentine is upon us this Tuesday. It is that time of the year that men can never be forgiven for not treating their women to a special gift, some dinner and a decent wine before going all the way. Thankfully, it seems lately everyone has figured out on how to go about it. More and more women have become cynical of the day and you will be overhearing them dismissing the day to have been made for the naïve and the weak at heart. There is a curious coincidence in that many people who say bad things about Valentine are either single or broke.
Broke men will be waxing philosophical on how expensive it is to meet the demands of a woman residing in an urban centre. They will say that it is pointless to squander a dime treating a woman who will never appreciate your efforts in the long run. Well, it makes sense. Lately men go unappreciated than women. But it is because women now have more choices like men had in the past.
See, a good number of women probably date more men than fellow women did in the past. They are exposed to these men at school, the workplace, and her job or private related tours and outings. Her level of reciprocity entirely depends on a man’s input. Men had the same privilege in the past and they never appreciated the most important women in their lives. Thus, such women went unappreciated. Now that shoe is perfectly on the other foot.
Of course, the city will not be painted red. Those who wear red on Valentine are normally given very cynical looks and at best considered deluded or misguided. At worst it is seen as some level of immaturity. Craving for a romance that is not possible in 2017. The most skeptical lot are the ones who are single, have broken up recently or who have never fallen in love.
But is there something wrong about treating your woman on Valentine? It is absolutely perfect. In fact, more than anything she deserves that. You have to go out of your way and find something nice and pricey for her. May be it is the only time of the year you will have to do it. Well sometimes women ask for too much, but can be ready to settle for less, if one goes for the right thing supported with the right poetry. As they say, it is the thought that counts.
The problem with men is that sometimes they go for women who are out of reach. They go for women they can hardly afford their basic demands. It is contemporary wisdom that one should cut his coat according to his cloth. My request to whining men is that, try and go for women within your reach. It is foolhardy making a debt to entertain a woman. Taking a bank loan for a wedding is a little on the extreme. A bank loan to buy her a gift is certainly dumb. But affording her a suitable gift for Valentine is not too much to ask.
So if you are single, drop your jealousy vibe and deal with it. If broke for whatever reasons, let the love birds do their thing. Spare them your empty diatribe. That habit of everyone being a relationship expert in dismissing Valentine should stop.
I have come to the conclusion that women are like restaurants; you can only walk in (no pun intended) to those ones you can afford.