common misconception in the dating world is that the guy always has to approach the girl to make the first move. Because of this, shy guys who can’t work up the nerve to talk to a girl they like get screwed. In order to date a shy guy, you need to be comfortable being the one who takes control and makes the moves… at least until he gets comfortable with you. In order to date a shy guy, you need to be patient, confident and willing to do some work. But in the end, it will probably be totally worth it. That said, here are 5 tips on how to date a shy guy:

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1. Don’t take his shyness personally. The first thing you need to know before you do anything is that you can’t take his shyness personally. As a shy girl, I can tell you exactly how frustrating it can be to deal with social situations, especially when they involve your crush. It’s even more frustrating when people assume your shyness means that you’re not interested or just being mean.

2. Approach him to talk. Okay, now for how to date him. You need to be confident enough to approach this dude and start a conversation. Before you do that, try to find out some stuff about him. What does he like? What do you guys have in common?

3. Talk on social media. Talking on social media or through text messages is a great way to get to know a shy guy. I know that, as a shy girl, I’m much more likely to open up and speak my mind when I’m not face-to-face with someone. He might feel more comfortable talking to you through a computer screen and if so, this will allow you to get to know him and become friendly with him. Message him on Facebook or text him if you have his phone number.

4. Take things slowly and allow him to open up. Once you guys start talking, remember to take things slowly. A shy dude is going to need to open up to you and feel comfortable around you before your friendship progresses to something romantic. That might take some time, so let things unfold slowly and don’t rush anything. Don’t force him into anything or pressure him at all. Just let things flow.

5. Compliment him and ask him things. One way to get him to open up is to make him feel good about himself. You can do that through flirting, although aggressive flirting may not work with a shy dude. Try giving him simple compliments, like, “I love that color shirt on you!” or “You’re so funny!” if he makes you laugh. Compliments will warm anyone up. You should also ask him a lot of open-ended questions to get him talking up a storm. You might have to carry the conversation sometimes.