Men and women process pain and negative vibes from relationships differently. The chances are we live in a relationship with the fear of being hurt or we end up carrying baggage from one relationship to another. Because a man and a woman entering a relationship are different in many ways, the chances of hurting each other are high. Here are steps to take towards forgiveness.
1. Commit to a way of life that makes forgiveness possible. When forgiving becomes a part of who you are, you’ll feel like a huge weight has been taken off of your shoulders.
2. Acknowledge the pain. It is wrong for anyone to either trivialise or deny the existence of pain or hurt in a relationship. Forgiving yourself is one of the first steps to truly acknowledging such pain. However, forgiving oneself is a process, not a quick fix. Acknowledgement is the first step in embracing the fact that you have been hurt by your partner and that it is causing you pain.
3. Put your energy into looking for another way to get your positive goals met than through the experience that has hurt you. Instead of mentally replaying your hurt seek out new ways to get what you want.
4. Get the right perspective on what is happening. Recognize that your primary distress is coming from the hurt feelings, thoughts and physical upset you are suffering now, not what offended you or hurt you two minutes – or ten years – ago. Forgiveness helps to heal those hurt feelings.