You start to feel unloved, lonely, unappreciated, angry, and resentful.
You used to be their priority; will those days ever return again?
While these feelings are difficult to overcome, many relationships struggle with this situation.
A common response is some form of withdrawing from that partner and investing more into the relationships with the children.
Here are reasons why you should continue to make your spouse a priority—even if they're not returning the favor... yet:
1. Know that quitters never win.
You may be feeling disgruntled and upset that your spouse isn't making you a priority, but if you desire a healthy and strong marriage—where you both place each other as a priority—then you can’t stop prioritizing your spouse.
2. Stay true to your values.
Prioritizing your spouse is less about what you get from it and more about why you do it.
You should prioritize your partner because you have made a commitment to yourself to unconditionally and persistently treat your spouse that way.
Don’t allow his or her shortcomings to change who you are.
Don't change your beliefs or actions just because they did.
3. Remember, you're setting an example of what love is.
Kids see everything, and they have a developing intuition.
Therefore, they can sense when something is “off” in you and your partner's relationship.
They notice when you are much nicer and spending more time than usual with them.
They also notice the more forced conversations and less energy exerted toward the other parent.
They internalize these cues you and your spouse are giving off, which implies, “If I’m not happy in my relationship, then I will spend time elsewhere instead of working to make things better.”
4. Remember, prioritizing isn’t as easy for everyone.
Oftentimes, the relationships are lacking in one or more of those areas.
Prioritizing is a hard concept in marriages because it involves multiple aspects of connecting with your partner.
Your spouse may do well in some areas and not so well in others.