Professional mourners. Ugandans have found ways of cashing in from funerals. [Photo: cnnct.co.za]
Besides the swanky funeral companies in Uganda profiting big, ordinary people are also cashing in whenever a person dies.
They monitor radio and TV announcements to gauge the economic status of the deceased’s family because, with widespread mobile telephony, media death announcements are no longer necessary, as the East African reports.
At the burial ground, long before the cortege arrives from the city, the vendors of food and refreshments have set up shop. Water, beers, sodas are a must. A highway restaurant staple called gonja, which is a type of banana that turns very sweet on roasting. Roast meat called mchomo is also now a must-offer at burial grounds.
Besides physical food, food for the soul is on sale, including entertainment and its opposite. The opposite of entertainment? A good African funeral must feature lots of wailing. A new profession of mourners is coming up.
These can be covertly embedded in the funeral company’s fee, and they provide the soundtrack as dictated by tradition.
Do you want women crying their hearts out and rolling on the ground threatening to throw themselves in the grave due to their broken hearts? Or silently sobbing ladies and gentlemen who look convincingly grief-stricken? All the above can be arranged at an appropriate fee.
And where crowds gather, security is also a necessity. Bouncers are now in high demand for funerals, especially of the rich. They keep crowds from getting too near to the dignitaries and tycoons in attendance.
You don’t want a chap selling roast groundnuts shoving them under the nose of a celebrity from town who could end up shunning the relatives of the deceased after that.
The bouncers also keep unwanted mourners like estranged partners of the deceased at bay.