In this day and age, most couples enter into marriage without knowing important details about their partners and preparing themselves enough for marriage.
This is because they lack role models as most couples who they know are constantly disagreeing whereas others are outrightly hostile, abusive or simply do not care.
Others simply come from broken homes and as a result, may think that this is the norm or how marriage should be.
In addition, the constant divorce cases and what is seen in soap operas may make some believe that this is how marriage should be.
Most parents on the other hand do not simply pass along this information to their young ones as they do not know how to go about it and as a result, the young ones end up experimenting and failing miserably in the so called marriages.
Some parents unknowingly become distant with their children due to their careers and as a result, the children learn from their peers what marriage life should supposedly be and what one should look out for in a partner.
However, psychologists’ and counsellors always advise the youth in Nakuru to look out for some of the following before saying ‘I do.’:
1) Financial stability
This is very important before one considers marriage. Do both parties have jobs? This is because in a marriage, expenses are meant to be shared, otherwise, if it is left to one person, he/ she may feel overwhelmed and stressed, and thus making the marriage turn ugly at times. Ways of saving money should also be discussed as this may come on handy especially when one party may lose their source of income. The save money may be used to start a business or sustain the family before the person gets another job.
2) Religion
It is wise for a couple to discuss this in case they are from different religions. Some questions such as what the religion their children will be exposed to should have answers to or if the children will be exposed to both religions so as to avoid a lot of confusion.
3) Relationship with family members
Both parties should find out the relationship one has with family members. This will avoid a lot of discomfort and arguments in several instances. If a person is not in a very good relationship with their parents, both parties should discuss this issues so as to see how to go about it. How holidays will be spent with both families should also be broken down so that both families may not feel left out.
4) Certain behaviour i.e. Hostile behavior when angry, constant drunkenness etc
These are pointers that should be looked out for and especially by Nakuru ladies and those in the country before entering into marriage. This is because it is literally impossible to change a man and for this reason, the lady may be forced to cope with this at some point. If one is not able to handle this, then it is best not to agree to marriage despite being promised. Let the actions speak louder than words.
5) Education background
Both parties should have an education that will enable them communicate at the same level. This will avoid instances where one party feels that they are undermined simply because their level of education is lower than their partners. Major decisions will also be easier to make in such instances.