Just like other tribes, the Kalenjin community treasures the marriage ceremony so much. Marriage is important as it depends on the formation of a family which is the prime source of earliest ideas that remain through ones' life.
Amongst the people of Kalenjin community, there are special steps in a marriage ceremony that are more than ordinary. Having seen the Kalenjin marriage ceremony, we consider the various steps and what they mean.
The proposal/Show up
The son who wants to marry informs his father and mother about the girl he wants to marry. His parents tell their relatives and they discuss the suitability according to the clan. If they contend with the girls' behaviour, they go to the girls' family for a show-up and to request for a hand in marriage. The parents are usually accompanied by aunts, uncles, grandparents and some neighbours.
In this show-up, the bridegroom and bride are not part of the negotiations.
The grooms' family ask for forgiveness from the brides' parents for planning to snatch their daughter.
If the bride's family agrees to let them their daughter for marriage, a date for engagement is mutually agreed.
Engagement (Koito)
The bridegroom family goes to the bride's home officially to meet them. Here the groom is required to attend the engagement popularly known as Koito. The grooms' family which include uncles, aunts, grandparents, parents and the clan are invited into the room for dowry negotiations and know each other well. A proper introduction is done to prevent getting married to your own. As for each clan in Kalenjin community, they have a name of a totem animal to represent them, they call it 'Tiondo' and a clan name, 'Oret'
Once both families are aware of their animal and clan name, they proceed to discuss dowry.
Dowry negotiations is usually a challenging affair. The bride's family outlines the effort they have made in raising the bride to her age. They mention the benefit that the groom will get from marrying her hence demand enough appreciation.
Dowry differs amongst the Kalenjin sub-tribes. The dowry which is usually in form of cows, goats and sheep, differs depending on bride's status.
After dowry negotiations, a ceremony is held where the bridegroom and bride are guided and advised on the new family. Gifts and presents are awarded.
Wedding
The brides' family visits the grooms' to check on the agreed dowry and to escort the bride to her new home. The father to the bride wears a traditional cloak, usually of animal skin and carrying a special stick walks with the 'best man' as we might say, to the field to have a look at the cattle for dowry. After confirming, he marks them for identification. A big ceremony where the whole village is invited is held. It is the most expensive step but the groom must prove that he will be able to provide for his new family.
At the dark in a room, the bride and the groom are asked to sit at the opposite sides of an officiating elder. Plaits of a certain grass are made and anointed with butter. They are blessed as four people carrying bouquets of leaves of the sacred plants form a procession of going around the bride and the groom four times. Finally, the man ties the lady and he is tied too. This is evidence that they will be faithful to their marriages. Jubilations follows and celebrations continue.
The ceremony in Kalenjin community is very interesting and worth an experience.
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