Stressed wife [Photo/gstatic.com]
Couples usually fail to plan for their future or state each other’s expectations when courting.
When love is in the air, people rarely talk about their dreams and their future, thinking and hoping that they will figure out that once they get married.
Unfortunately, by that time, it might be too late because one person on assumption being the woman is swallowed up in the other’s (man’s) dreams.
Whereas in marriage the two become one, it is important that neither one lose their individuality in the process.
Individually, everyone has their dreams and careers that they want to pursue and unless they do so, they will not be fulfilled both in life and in their relationship.
It is, therefore, important for each partner to value and validate each other’s dreams.
Sometimes in marriage, one partner may suspend their dreams at the expense of the other for the sake of the common good and there is nothing wrong with that if there’s an agreement.
What you need to establish though is whether it is just a matter of him preferring you to take care of the business or is insecure about you going out to work.
If it is the former, then you might need to look at how your dream can merge with his, or how it can add value to his business.
If on the other hand, he is insecure with you pursuing your dreams then that is another problem.
What is your vision as a couple?
This is the most important question that you need to ask yourselves as this will help you see how you can pull from each other’s strengths in order to realize that vision.
Both husband and wife need to work together as a team.
For the team to win, it is important for each team member to play their part and ensure the team wins.
It is, however, difficult for one to shoot for the team goals while not seeing how they benefit from that as an individual.
Marriage is about looking for win-win solutions where both partners support each other’s dreams even as they both individually contribute to the common good of the family.