Nairobi is divided into two hemispheres, the haves and the have-nots. The haves are a selected minority who drive ex- Japan cars and swear that they cannot be caught eating fish in a kibanda. The have-nots know all Matatu Saccos in Nairobi and hustling around is what they love best. And while sitting in a matatu can be energy sapping, Nairobians have found creative activities to do during a matatu ride. They include:
Snatch a phone
When the traffic along Landhies road hits its peak, the Nairobian usually takes out his Chinese smartphone and starts to tweet…only for the starving, idle youth to pounce on him through the window and dash with the phone!
Hawking
One clever Nairobian discovered a dubious way to avoid paying hectic levies to the county government to obtain business permits; hawking.The noisy hawkers sell all sorts of merchandise from sweets, airtime, and handkerchiefs. They cleverly twist their diction to entice the already fatigued passenger. Innerwear can be called ‘Kifunika asali’ while chewing gum is called ‘breathe taker’
Bread of life
A pastor will stand up and start preaching, the congregants will say amen enough times until he asks for sadaka. That is when all smartphones are unleashed as they pretend not to understand that Greek word. Respect pastor!
Bedminton
Half of the Nairobians are guilty of snoring in matatus especially during evening traffic. Some go ahead and lean their heads on your shoulder unapologetically as they drool stinking saliva on your newly bought suit. The Devil is a liar!
Backbench politics
The men seated at the backseats always form a public parliament (muchene) as they discuss Jubilee and their 47 Prados, women’s weaves, sports betting and the newest drinking joints in Nairobi.
Google a partner
The cupid’s arrow can hit a target anytime. Thus once in a while, a guy will take a few deep breaths and greet the beautiful girl seated next to her. Of course, because he will complement her hair, he is guaranteed to get her number and a Friday date is thus inevitable.