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Growing up we were taught not to ask for things from people. Our parents would beat us to death if we dared beg for money or food from a stranger or neighbor. But it appears Kenyan security guards were living on Mars at the time of our upbringing.

At times you wonder whether their training starts with ‘Begging 101: An introduction to Security Procedures’. Do they graduate with a double major Masters in Begging and Guarding?

If you belong to the imaginary Kenyan middle class then you probably drive a used Ex-Japan Toyota on loan. You probably drive all the way to the shopping mall every day to get freshly baked bread. And you must be familiar with the security checks at the entrance which usually go like a well-choreographed dance script.

Since your mom raised you not to be rude to people, you feel obligated to respond. But you do not know what to say and your mind is probably far-off wondering whether the Sacco will approve yet another loan for your kids to go on an educational trip to Mombasa.Your heart breaks when you realize he doesn’t care to be your new friend. All he wants from you really is nothing more than twenty shillings.

Depending on what mood you are in, you either give him a coin or you just shrug and say nothing. He looks at you sadly if you don’t give anything for one brief second of shaming you.

Security guards will ask you for money everywhere! You don’t necessarily have to be driving into a mall. Even pedestrians are harassed with requests for ‘tea’. Begging has become their second nature such that anytime a security guard approaches you to offer assistance or give you directions you expect a tip request to follow.

The begging is so notorious that heavens will forgive you for wondering whether the guards at the mortuary doors stare at mourners in sympathy or in expectation of getting something small as mourners leave with their departed ones. True story.