A couple.Photo/hivisasa.com
In this age of social media, many married people are sexting and having phone sex with chat mates. They are excited about going on the phone to have naughty sessions with chat mates that they put no effort in their marriage.
This is already wrong and it upgrades to a physical meeting with the chat mate to have sexual intercourse, the chat mate turns you on and you want the real sexual experience.
Some easily fall for this because it is difficult to see it coming. You justify spending time with that friend because you've known each other from back in the day. You get too comfortable with this friend, it could be your spouse's friend. You don't stop the closeness because friendships are a good thing. Soon, you are kissing, having sex with this friend.
Protect your marriage from this by knowing that once you get married, friendships have to be clearly defined. You are now accountable to your spouse, all other friendships come after your marriage in priority and value. Let your friends know you are taken, have boundaries. Introduce your friends to each other, avoid meeting friends of the opposite gender in private venues, keep no secrets from your spouse.The ‘stranger’ is that person some meet in a club when drunk or that repair man who comes to fix something at home when you are home alone. It could that stranger you bump into in your work travels or when outside the country. You might feel a thrill talking with this new person since your spouse is old news, you've known pretty much everything about your spouse.
Protect your marriage from this by growing up. Only a fool would abandon a marriage that has stood for years for a complete stranger. Anything exciting you wish to do with a stranger, go do it with your spouse. Spice up your marriage, avoid alcohol and places of casual interactions.
"The old flame" This could be your ex, the man/woman you had a child with but broke up, someone you used to like, or you had sex with in the past. This person appears and a weak spouse gets confused. The old feelings resurface and regrettable sex occurs.
Protect your marriage by opening up about your past to your spouse. Let your spouse know your ex/s and what led to the breakup/s. Tell your spouse when someone from the past makes contact. Tell off an old flame that tries to woo you, stand up for your marriage. Don't be the weak link that makes your marriage break yet the past should remain in the past
The house help is an employed adult who gets to live in your house or who frequents your house to help out. Many men have ended up having sex with a house help, some married women have also had affairs with the ‘shamba’ boy or a helper at home. This brings shame to your home and to your spouse. Protect your marriage from this by hiring a house help as a team. Hire someone of good repute. Have rules to follow that you agree together as a couple. Wife, involve your husband in making the rules as often, when a husband is absent in rule making, he ends up over-riding the rules the wife gives. Rules like dress code, no access to the master bedroom, do's and don'ts. Be loving in the presence of the house help. Be a team.