A father and his son. Photo/huffpost.com]Being a father is life's fullest expression of masculinity. But for many males, regrettably, life consists of a search for the lost father. Are you a lost father to someone?
If a father walked out on you, let me assure you there’s a father who’ll never leave you nor forsake you all the days of your life. Do you know Him?
In the last 100 years or so, many fathers have become largely irrelevant in the lives of their sons. The baby was thrown out with the bathwater, and the pater dismissed with the patriarchy. Everyone seems to be floundering around not knowing what to do with men or with their problematic and disoriented masculinity. Gentlemen, where did we drop the ball?
Masculinity has ceased to be defined in terms of the domestic roles of a father and husband and is defined in terms of making money. Men have become primarily Father the Provider, bringing things home rather than working commuting from home. If then the mother can equally provide, we question the role of fathers.
If we look at fathers merely as providers, then most fathers are inescapable disappointments, miserable failures, commercial losers and unwanted buffoons because they aren’t rich and famous. What a disillusioned perspective of fatherhood!
No wonder most men won’t slow down even after some level of success seeking for more societal approval. In his mind, he had moved out. He had gone to conquer the world.
The relationship between father and son is the most important determinant of whether the boy will become a man capable of giving life to others or whether he will go through life ashamed and pulling back from being exposed as a failure by the money-minded society.
Raising up your children is what makes you a man irrespective of your standing in the eyes of the world. Your son is a soul on fire with the same life and gifts and passions as any man. Call the man out of your boy early.
In the absence of a father at home, single mums should train their sons by being there for them and being exemplary role models. Many great men and women were raised by single mums. If you have a genuine father figure who can complement your parental efforts without exploiting your vulnerability, you’re well advised to bring him on board.