A father and her daughter. photo/stevekoophotography.comFathers, you are your daughter’s inner voice. The way you talk to your daughter will become how she talks to herself. Mum is usually the safe person who will love them unconditionally. Let’s face it, dad’s love is a little more negotiable, so when she does feel she’s getting his attention, it gives her a great sense of confidence.
If you keep commenting on her beauty, athletic prowess, or academic achievement, she’ll focus on her ‘external self’ and worry about retaining your love through achievement and appearance.
Focusing on a girl’s outward appearance can lead to drastic measures such as anorexia and bulimia eating disorders. Daughters who feel a healthy emotional connection with their fathers are less likely to have an eating disorder or to be depressed. Most patients of Anorexia either had absent fathers or fathers who were less accessible during their adolescence.
Compliment intrinsic qualities. Focus more on her self-worth and character. Compliment her on her ability to be a good listener, a caring friend, a team player, her courage, and her integrity.
A study by the Department of Education found that highly involved fathers had children who were 43 percent more likely than other children to earn mostly A’s and 33 percent less likely than other children to repeat a grade.
As girls get into their late teens, most fathers become more uncomfortable in the presence of their girls. Desist that temptation and overcome it by openly discussing topics like dating. By doing so, your daughter learns more on drawing the line between love and lust.
Girls deprived of closeness with their fathers are more likely to seek substitute male affection through interactions with male peers. Fathers should take their daughters on mini dates and help them navigate through relationships through sound counselling and role modelling.
Model the kind of man you want your daughter to marry. Women gravitate to what is familiar. How you treat your daughter and your wife is how she will expect to be treated by her spouse.
In the absence of a father at home, single mums should train their daughters by being available for them and being exemplary role models. Many great men and women were raised by single mums.