The month of lovey dovey is here with us. Lovers will be on a spending spree and there is need to cash in on these folks who believe in the false feeling of love.

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Those like me, who have been truly rescued from the shackles of false love, believe love was just another scheme to bring people together, rob a man his freedom and love for stuff that matters, boys and such.

We must therefore turn this Valentines into a cash cow. By the way, those gushy stuff people in love do, SMH! All that lovey dovey shit sucks!

Anyway, here are ways to make cash this Valentines:

1. Sell some flowers

Guys will be picking flowers to go melt their spouse's heart. Get some roses, from the cheap to the pricey depending on where you plan to sell them.

2. Set up a dinnner

Get a hall and organise for a dinner. This might be a movie dinner, a play dinner or all that shit meant for two people with deep feelings.

3. Valentines dresses, shoes

These will be moving off the shelves at a lightening speed. Stock some red dresses, stilletos and all that that defines a finesse woman. Advertise them with vigor, reach out to lovers to buy for their spouses.

4. Chocholates

Unless you and Mugabe were together in the bush, you know the power of chocolates when it comes to gels and romance. Get those yummy stuff, cadbury chocolate sticks and bars. These will also fly. They are called panty removers, hehe!

5. Condoms

Dude, unless some idiot doesn't love his or her life, no one swims in river Yala without a swimming costume and floater.Valentines is not only for lovers, booty calls will come through. Guys will be holed up for flings.All this will need some rubber. Stock them!