Dating someone new means sharing idiosyncrasies, emotional baggage, and experiences that have shaped your lives. But what if that includes a health secret. So how much should you reveal about a health secret? If you’re considering spilling the beans, here are six tips to help.
1. Practice what to say. Rehearse with a friend.
2. Never tell on a first date. Never tell someone on a first date. That doesn’t mean you should lie, but revealing too much too soon may color how your partner sees you. It defines you before you’re ready to be defined.
3. Be casual yet confident. I feel like we’re heading in a great direction, so I wanted to tell you something. Be sure your delivery is drama free; don't make a big deal about it.
4. Don’t have this conversation in bed—or anyplace you associate with intimacy. Any talk about your condition—whether it’s communicable or not—should take place in a neutral spot, like a park. Do not tell your partner during intimacy. Telling your partner your health secret means you are opening up to them, trusting them, and becoming more vulnerable.
5. Seek out relationships online. If you’re nervous about rejection, you might be more comfortable dating someone with similar health issues. Many sites cater to people with specific conditions, and they’re a great way to be up front with potential mates who are in the same boat.
6. Know when to give your partner space. Even if you deliver a snag-free speech, it’s possible there could be an awkward moment. (If that happens), say, ‘I can tell by your expression that this is a lot to digest and I completely understand, and I’ll give you the time and space to do that.