Photo/couples.inlove.com
Almost everyone who gets married marries out of love. But why do so many married people end up cheating? It is because they don't set boundaries.
The one in need of a heroThis is where many married men fall prey, they see a young lady, a damsel in distress. They take her in, buy her things, and promise to change her life, pay her tuition fees, pay her rent, and buy her a car. He feels good because the young lady celebrates and praises him. This is the toughest affair to break because it makes the man feel good as a hero.
Married women also fall prey, especially the successful ones. They get a man in need of support. The man makes her feel good by looking up to her and she keeps supporting him especially financially and giving him her body.
The truth is, many married men and women don't get appreciated at home. To protect your marriage from being destroyed this way, appreciate each other, make your spouse feel like a hero, look at your spouse in an admiring way. And if out of your good heart one of you identifies someone you'd like to mentor and support, do it together, as a couple. Don't do philanthropic acts alone, do it as a couple with defined boundaries. Most of all, be a hero at home, to your spouse, your children.
The one with a shoulder to lean onThis happens when you start running to another person, especially when your marriage is facing issues. You get that one person who is not your spouse you cry to and vent to, you become emotionally attached. Soon, you start meeting up with this person frequently, this person begins to know about your smile, how your day is and what's on your mind; more than your spouse does. You feel loved, this person feels needed; next thing, you're having an affair.
To protect your marriage from this, don't let things deteriorate to the point you cannot vent and cry with each other as husband and wife. Keep good communication channels between the two of you, if there are problems in your marriage talk it out amongst yourselves, not to an outsider. If that is difficult, then talk to a reputable spiritual leader or a professional counselor or someone of the same gender as you; not someone of the opposite gender who can easily get close and feelings emerge, distracting you from working on your marriage.
The neighborDavid, a man after God's own heart fell this way. He lusted after a neighbor. Watch yourself, so that you don't fall for that neighbor hanging clothes outside on the line, washing the car, bending while doing house chores, dressed in shorts or a vest showing muscles. Watch out for that neighbor who comes to visit and gets cozy in your home, that neighbor that is within reach when you are the only one at home.
Protect your marriage from this by only entertaining visitors when you are together, show love to your spouse before your neighbors, have a healthy sex life that you have no time looking out the window, telling off a neighbor who is checking you out.
The work mate.You are married, perhaps you spend more hours at work than at home; Monday to Saturday, 8am to 5pm, or even night shifts. By the time you get home, you spend about three hours with family before sleeping. Even when you do spend time, it is largely talking about responsibilities of the home as you do chores, eat and sleep. This kind of work schedule can easily push you closer to a work colleague and away from your spouse. Breeding ground for an affair.
Protect your marriage from this by putting your marriage out there. Wear your wedding ring with pride, constantly bring your partner in the middle of conversations at work, "My spouse was telling me that..." During the lunch break, call your spouse on phone, or better yet, meet your spouse for lunch. Introduce your spouse to the colleagues you work with the most. Keep a photo of your family/spouse in your office and as your phone's wallpaper. Above all, make time for your spouse, even as you work so hard.