With the come-we-stay marriages on the rise especially among urban dwellers, many people are shunning the Luo traditional marriage procedure. But they say whether you go through the backdoor, culture will still catch up with you and at one point in your marriage, you will have to conform to the marriage customs. The best way to go about it is to face it head-on and the earlier you do that the better.
Do you want to marry a Luo girl? Well, here are a few things you need to know if you have decided to follow the correct and proper procedure.
The first procedure is to visit the family of the girl for an official introduction. You will have to be accompanied by one or two of your agemate who know you well and one elder who knows the marriage laws well. During this visit, you will take to the family of the girl what is known as “Ayie” (I agree). This “ayie” signals that you have agreed and accepted to marry their girl. During this visit, it is the elder to do most of the talking.
During this visit, the girl’s mother is supposed to prepare for you chicken and beef from a cow which was slaughtered the same day. After the meal, you are required to give some money to the mother, father, elders of the girl’s family, youths, cooks and uncles of the girl. The money is supposed to be given separately enclosed in envelopes. The amount is not specified and so one can give according to one’s financial ability. The law does not allow you to stay until 6 pm so you will have to leave before 6 pm.
After “ayie” visit, you are given some time to prepare and come for dowry negotiations. Customarily, it is supposed to be five weeks but nowadays people take longer than that. After setting a date, the girl will be locked indoors three days before the due date. On the day of marriage after the dowry is negotiated and paid, the parents of the girl then release the girl to you. The same day you are supposed to spend the night with your wife to confirm whether she is a virgin. The confirmation is done by the grandmother of the girl.
Luo marriage customs used to peg the number of cows to be paid as dowry at 12 but nowadays the culture is getting eroded and people are paying far much less than that. Depending on your financial capabilities, you are allowed to pay as much you can.The marriage institution is given so much respect that those who do not go through the proper channel are not accorded the respect by their in-laws.