Cheating in couples or best put, affairs in marriages is one of the most misunderstood and confusing concepts in life. This time-honored taboo can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness and even worse, their identity. Yet this universally forbidden fruit is still being consumed on large-scale all over the world.
"State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity", a book written by Esther Perel, sites that the rate of married women who report they’ve been unfaithful has increased by 40 percent, while the rate among men has remained the same. More women than ever are cheating on their spouses, you might wonder why? That is a story for another day.
Let's start with this simple solid truth; a woman who readily cheats without any trace of guilt is a dangerous one. Especially if she does it while still having unprotected sex with you. For women, forgiving their philandering spouse comes much easier than it does for men. Before any rush sexist shaming, where feminists pick up their pitchforks and burn me at the stake for being anti-gender equality, happens let me explain:
Men are extremely territorial
The mere thought of another man claiming and conquering your woman's body, making her curl her toes and hit notes never reached before, is not only revolting but can make one turn into a maniac. Yet women are better at hiding their tracks from their unsuspectingly naive men, but luck does run out. Don't want to get personal or anything close, but you should watch a National Geographic piece on female animals caught cheating by their males, the scenes are gory and extremely bloody. We are all animals, aren't we?
Cheating is an attack on his manhood
With men, it all boils down to egos, as it should. Men would readily forgive their act of stepping out on his spouse and readily move on albeit still being remorseful. Women can also readily forgive their cheating spouse cause the affair is an affront to her dignity but for the man, a woman's extramarital escapades are an attack on his manhood. This is a grave assault on his identity as a person.
Rude awakening and shock
Let's all agree that men are '"dogs". Women call us so, with the good effect I think. This goes to show that women have come to accept, even though reclined capacity, that men (their men) might cheat at a certain point in their life. So they can easily forgive because they are accustomed to the possibility. Men, on the other hand, don't expect their beloved spouse to step out on them, ever. So when it happens the shock and grief are overwhelming and deep. It is soul crushing!
Unlike women, men are more concerned with the sexual aspect
Women tend to view the feelings and emotions related to the affair as the biggest threat. On the other hand, men are more concerned about the details of the sexual act itself. A woman will ask questions such as "Did you love her?", meaning the lack of emotions and feelings would be received with much relief.For the man if you cannot unwind the time then the best you can offer is to undo the did, which is practically impossible.
Men view cheating as an indicator of the termination of the relationship
There is definitely an inclination by men to view infidelity as signaling the end of a relationship. He is released from the bind of promises and vows. Any man who has been cheated on will attest to this fact when you find one console him first, at-least sympathize with his bruised ego. Then gently pop the question.